Saw a casual friend this week who knew us when we started our adoption paperchase in 2004. As she fingered a wallet photo of the girls, she asked, "So which ones are yours?"
Hmmmm. Which ones are mine?
Rachel, Lois and Hannah will always be mine because I birthed them. Half of their DNA is mine. Nothing will ever change that.
They're also mine because they slept countless nights curled up on my chest in the formula-stained rocker we still use. They're mine because I lugged their diaper bags, burped them and watched "Barney."
Yawwwwnnnn.....that's two-year-old Rachel and preemie Lois her first night at home, after 37 days in the NICU....
A young woman in Russia birthed Julia. Half of Julia's DNA is hers. Nothing will ever change that.
I never rocked Julia as an infant, or toted her diaper bag, or burped her or endured "Barney" for her. I can't change that.
I can, though, cuddle her in that same (somewhat crusty) rocking chair now. I can help her pick out a new rolling bag for her occassional spend-the-night with friends. I can fix her cup of hot chocolate every evening. And I've been known to watch a few minutes of "Power Rangers" while folding clothes.
I think Julia is mine not because a judge in a distant courtroom said so, nor even because she lives under this roof.
She's mine because Keith and I promised before God to rear her not like our own, but as our own.
So which of those girls is mine?
As I told my friend - "They all are."
Posted at 06:35 pm by beckyww
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kate
August 25, 2007 06:28 AM PDT
kaneshna! of course!
and, um, i think power rangers is even more of a parental offering than barney...i can't picture the power rangers singing and dancing, not many i-love-you's there... |
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rach
August 24, 2007 08:48 PM PDT
seriously, i would have been like, oh none of them anymore.
child services wont let me keep em since my arrest for prostitution in october of '06. |
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ChinchillaBoy
August 24, 2007 06:42 AM PDT
Actually - more than half of their DNA is yours. Extranuclear DNA (mitochondrial DNA) is inherited from the maternal gamete.
Goes for the misbehavors as well as the angels, alas. |
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Dad
August 23, 2007 04:05 PM PDT
The misbehaving ones are yours, the good ones are mine. |
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ChinchillaBoy
August 23, 2007 02:44 PM PDT
Amen! |
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Melinda
August 23, 2007 09:13 AM PDT
Yes, I feel that way about your children, too. They're MINE...all of them!
They're just the kind of kids I want to have...smart, funny, independent, happy...absolutely beautiful! LOVE 'em!! |
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Name
August 23, 2007 08:00 AM PDT
I love you Bec! |
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Rachael
August 23, 2007 07:10 AM PDT
I'm with you, mother bear. It doesn't matter how they "become" yours, once they are, they are.
I get the same questions all the time too, "which ones are yours?" and I'm the same way, "they all are. do you mean which one is adopted?"
I love too that Katya looks so much like us that people can't tell.
I don't think people mean any harm though by asking, usually they're just curious and don't think before speaking. |
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sharon
August 23, 2007 06:43 AM PDT
I would have replied: "Depends... which one do you want?" |
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lisa
August 23, 2007 04:34 AM PDT
please where the glasses to the next URD session |
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votemom
August 23, 2007 04:33 AM PDT
i love reading thoughts of other moms with both bio and adopted kids. thanks for sharing. and please give J a kiss on her neck for me tonight when she is sipping her cocoa. |
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andrea
August 23, 2007 03:33 AM PDT
God bless you, Julia and your lovely family. P.S. The baby pic is so cute. |
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