The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

Monday, November 21, 2005

Just because I'm paranoid....

...doesn't mean they're not out to get me. Check out wet-headed Rachel's choice of reading material this evening.

When the girls were younger, I swear every Polly Pocket session started off with, "Let's pretend the mother is dead." Deep sigh.

I'm thinking I'm watching my back tomorrow. You do the same, and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

Posted at 08:06 pm by beckyww
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Saturday, November 19, 2005

Three little fishies in the iddy biddy poo?

No, no koi. No fishies yet. Just a 6'5" bearded man with his knee stitched and braced sitting at the bottom of what Jed Clampett would accurately describe as the "cement pond." Rachel and Lois have acted as Keith's legs today - fetching, carrying, retrieving. Don't ask me how he got down there. I didn't see, and I don't want to know.

His scr*wdriver is affixed to what I believe to be a "drain hole." The bricked semi-circle in the background is, I believe, a "bog." I believe the sides and bottom of the pond will soon be sprayed with some type of plastic. Beliefs - they are good things to have.

My job is - as always - to bring ice water.

Please stay tuned to this blog for further developments in the continuing saga of "A Man and His Pond."

Posted at 02:06 pm by beckyww
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Sunday, November 13, 2005

69...70...71

We set a new record for our family this weekend - 71 plastic shoeboxes filled, labeled and delivered for Samaritan's Purse Operation Christmas Child. I remember our first time filling a single paper shoebox. Rachel was a toddler. I paid full price for everything just before packing, and I'm sure the finished product rattled. We've come a long way, baby! We use plastic shoeboxes, we shop clearances and collect from friends all year long, and each box undergoes a rigorous "shake test" to ensure no rattling. If it rattles, pop it open, there's room for another Chapstick, or bubblegum, or pencil.

Like virtually everything that happens under our roof - it was a mess. Look at some of what Hannah and I dragged out of the guestroom in preparation for sorting and filling....toothbrushes from Barb, stuffed animals from Stephanie, assortments from Sharon, Happy Meal toys from Renee, socks from Aimee and Shelley, a box'o'stuff from Kristen's Scout Troop, shipping help from Laura and Glenda, beads from Lisa - so many gifts, and every item a representation of the heart of the giver.

Good friends Mary Anne and Vicki offered the precious gift of time to help sort and pack, and also do a little shopping. (I had three toes sliced and diced recently, so Target - my fashion center - hasn't seen much of me and won't until I can drive again.) Because of their kindness, we finished in time.

Hannah was particularly proud of stuffing a raccoon hand puppet full of candy and gigglingly beseeching me to "Look, Mom, there's Tootsie Pop sticking out of his butt." Now there's a festive visual. I noticed Lois inserted a small rubber duck into each boy's box, aged 10 - 14. Why? "Mom, those boxes were way too serious." Ooookay. Rachel-The-Hair-Straightener Queen stressed that not every box had a hairbrush.

If you gave us something - thanks! It's on its way to some child right now. Samaritan's Purse boxes will "be Christmas" for the millions of children who get them. Their parents won't be worrying about having enough batteries, or if the beautifully-wrapped video game is the latest version. These boxes filled with small toys, stuffed animals, candy, toiletries, clothing, school supplies, etc. are "it" for these kids. They'll never be able to thank you personally for being Jesus with skin on. So just know that you were.

Posted at 04:06 pm by beckyww
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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Proverbs 15:1 from the Gospel of Rachel

Actual quotes from Rachel of Casa Woodworth today - yes, the Sabbath -

"I wish I had green eyes. Green eyes are so pretty. Brown eyes look like poop. It's a wonder I don't have corn chunks in my eyes."

"The only reason you have friends is that we pay for them. So that you don't go off and slit your wrists and then we'd have to clean up the blood."

"Go somewhere else to cry out your feelings because nobody cares over here. Cry, cry, cry but don't get the floor wet."

"A cow had the milk torn from her udder for you."

"It's a wonder Mom bought you from that crackhead."

"When you grow up, you're going to live in a refrigerator box on the side of the road."

"You used to be a boy, you know that, don't you?"

Here's Rachel's favorite verse of the bible; the chapter and verse are inscribed on her brick at Stone Oak Elementary.

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Go figure. And while you're at it, have a nice week.

Posted at 07:21 pm by beckyww
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Friday, August 26, 2005

"Chopped Nuts Make Deluxe"

My wonderful husband has requested that I make apple crisp sometime this weekend, so, naturally, it's off to HEB for a few nice Granny Smiths. For a recipe, I scurried to my favorite source: Hand-written recipes that my mom gave me at my bridal shower. I especially love them because they're in her handwriting, which I have much missed seeing on cards and notes in my mail for seven years and four days.

As I was scrounging through my recipe box, I couldn't help but notice the stains and variances accompanying the ingredients and instructions. At that same bridal shower, I also got a recipe for "Cris' Favorite Chicken Spaghetti" from Konen, with a bowl that is one of my favorites. Here's the splotch of Diet Coke that David got on my baked potato soup recipe the last time he, Judy and I were together for Christmas. Now here's a recipe printed online - must have happened after 1993, when we got our first computer. Here's Aunt Zum's recipe for cornbread, with a very firm Kentucky-esque, "No Sugar Please" command. And Aunt Neva's "Better than Sex" cake ---- my, my, a little risque for a pastor's wife, doncha think?

It struck me - this recipe box is really a history box. It guards wafts of flavor drifting across thousands of miles and scores of years, down generations, up I-10 and slowly circling a multitude of mitts and mixers. The pile of flip-flops is my family crest, but the contents of the recipe box is my personal history.

You're right, Mom. Chopped nuts - they do make it deluxe.

Posted at 07:29 pm by beckyww
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Monday, August 22, 2005

Exodus 20:8 - "Remember the Sabbath...

...and keep it holy." Or was it really, "HOLY MOLEY, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?" Here is a selection of phrases muttered or sputtered from the mouths of Rachel and Lois between 6:30 a.m. and 10 p.m. on yester Lord's Day:

In response to a thought-provoking series of questions from our worship leader including, "Why are you here today? What motivated you to get up and come to God's house," I heard Lois sigh and whisper, "That would be my mother."

Rachel: "If you shaved Hannah's head, you'd see a '666.' I swear that will be her locker number."

Lois: "The light - it burns us."

Lois: "You'll be the crazy who attacks 37 people with a butter knife."

Rachel: "I need to go to the 'New Family Store.' I want a dad who will give me all the money I want, a mom who won't make me clean my room, a little sister who looks up to me and a little brother just for fun."

Lois: "Is your new hobby annoying people?"

Rachel: "When you see 'chicken terrayiki' on the school lunch menu, be sure to take."

Lois: "I thought of some famous last words. 'What's the worst that could happen?'"

Rachel: "Lois, do you feed that hampster living in your (unbrushed) hair?"

And finally - my personal favorite, from Lois, who pops in unannounced to watch the TV in our bedroom because it has the DVR: "Ewwwww, put some clothes on, Mom, I can't afford therapy right now."

Posted at 04:53 pm by beckyww
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Saturday, August 20, 2005

It's not a lion, or crossed swords, or.....

....anything medieval or dramatic, as is the norm. But if I had to pick a crest for our family, it would be - yes - our pile of flip-flops near the front door.

"Sock it to me?" Not likely on Cougar Bluff.....

Judy and I, of course, always called them "thongs," which brings a shudder of embarrassed horror to my girls today. But we did, and we wore them to the beach, or perhaps a pool. Today, of course, they're worn everywhere.

Rachel (M - 13) has three pair at the door right now (two more than are officially allowed) - a school day blue pair, a dressy-for-church black pair and the fru-fru'ed pink/black pair that the ever-indulgent Shelley created for her. Lois (W - 10) is ever the pragmatist with her one pair of oh-so-elegant black and white slip-ons. Hannah (W - 9) keeps one foot (so to speak) in the classics with a simple blue pair, but will walk on the wild side with the pastel stripes. Lois and Hannah still wear sneakers to school, but their toes yearn to breathe free the moment they hit the front door in the afternoon.

And moi (W - 11)? I'm currently sporting the heart-adorned pair. Is it because they're so darned festive? Or because I strew love wherever I go? Hmmm. It might be because they were $1 at Old Navy after Valentine's Day a few years ago. You be the judge. And where are Keith's (M - 14)? None for him - he's a boat shoes kind'o'guy. And by the back door, nearer to the pond, doncha know?

Between church services, we'll be here or at the pool tomorrow afternoon....feel free to drop by....and kick your shoes off at the door, you hear?

Posted at 06:43 pm by beckyww
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